The development this character is going through is pretty crazy. I did like the original design but I agree with many of your points in that it didn't really fit the lightning theme of the character. I think the mech suit kinda thing definitely does, and I think you could really play with the exaggeration in the size of those fins and boosters too. But either way it's been enjoyable thus far seeing where the character has come from and where they're ending up. Excited for more!
Did you just wrote a whole chapter?!!! wow!
Really great work! The hardest part with this is to make it not look like too much like Pharah from overwatch o:
Recieved some critiue about the generic face/hair, not matching the written character.
Now fixed.
This is probably the final concept.
I'll worry about the details when i start painting.
Hell yea!
A scenario popped up in my head so i went ahead and wrote it lol.
Now i have very clear images about the setting for the final painting.
It's always more fun to whole-ass something you really like,
instead of half-assing something you "kinda" like.
I totally understand that! Always more fun this way!
I do the same, my entry is based on my own personal project's universe, and this way it force myself to not half ass the work so it's worthy enough to be kept in the book! 
It's a great motivation 
Edit : Almost forgot, great update the face is awesome!
If you struggle painting details, having lots of ref and doing a bit of research into how mechanisms like these work will only benefit you, like moodboards have lots of ref and inspiration and they help to further the piece along
I like the scene a lot. I can see it in my head as an RPG, or an action game with the little text boxes popping up.
These are cool!! I like the last one! The first is really powerful too but we don't see that much of her because of the pose, could work as a bonus illustration 
I looove that first one, so much gesture and movement, the last one is cool too but seems a lot "safer" in approach
Increased motion and flow.
Daamn this is looking nice good work!
I can really feel the movement in that composition. It almost feels like a gesture drawing.
Awesome progress!! So much flow and dynamism!!
Amazing! But godammit I swear I just joined and saw your thread for the first time, my design is weirdly similar to your first idea haha
