it feels like there is no focal point in this one and I'm not sure how
to fix it. Of course please point out all the other issues. Its supposed
to be more lighthearted, silly scene with the first failed encounter
with aliens who happen to be drunk, tho I'm not sure how well the story
is conveyed.
Okay. So lets just talk about eye direction and story telling then. Where do we look first, and second, and finally what is tertiary.
First I have to say I love how your blasting in the colors with huge strokes. Classy.
Second, I believe the best and easiest way to direct the eye is always contrast. Contrast of rhythm, edges (sharp vs soft) and shape (curved vs. straight) and light (dark vs light).
This is not necessarily a paint-over so much as it is something I am using to illustrate my point so that you can take it to the next level in your own painting
Here there are two different pictures with a soft light layer next to the original, where I just dropped in black, or dark blue, and masked it out with an airbrush.
(There is a smaller version that I've attached so that you can quickly see the difference in strength according to the contrast. Much quicker in a thumbnail view)
In the top right, you have a dark main figure on the light background. I made the girl the focus by doing that. If that's your goal then it's where we hopefully will keep drawing the eye there with interest and detail. Detail adds more contrast of detail vs less detail. Its more interesting and more things too look at with her suit so the eye lingers .
In the middle right, you have a somewhat mid-dark main character on a lighter but still muted background, but the contrast is pushed more toward the hand, where the hand is darker on a lighter background, now that is just to illustrate a point..
This isn't necessarily what you want it to look like, but tools you can now use to push where you want the viewers eye to go first.
In the first example its the female. In the second example Its the hand, or I tried to make it be the hand.
You can also have a light figure on a dark background, but you already had a back lit forest so we'll work with that, you get it, no need to illustrate the point further.
Some Suggestions:
To push the eye around with the story, add some blood to the sword, or the ground, or show that the hand is severed, or in a pool of alien blood but hide it with low contrast if you wanted. You could also make contrast with the direction and rhythm of the sword by making it opposite in direction to your horizon line like in the third example on bottom right.
Regarding the last critique, hopefully what I did here illustrated what ESL was trying to say as well. By grouping together the value range of the forest to the left, we have taken away some interest by taking away contrast there. and pushed the contrast too our subjects. Hope that helps if you have any questions just tag me.
Also just by looking at the picture I couldn't tell that they were drunk very quickly, I just saw a green bottle. Maybe push the fact that its beer or liquor with a lable, or brown bottle, or have beer on the ground fizzing or the other alien not dropping his drink. But that part of the story I didn't get from the picture. And if its what you need to tell it, push that element.
