Manga sketchbook (Augustin's)

[augustin]

I'll let my posts speak for itself. Feel free to give feedback.

[liviuc]

Not familiar with the character, if it's an established one, but feels like a cross between an FMA-type alchemist and a Naruto-type ninja? It's definitely cool, but it's hard to give you anatomy type feedback if you cover up the character completely with a bulky costume =)

My main feedback would be that you're possibly making the torso feel a bit too flat, with how the belt and the top part of the uniform sit across it, which contrasts starkly with the cylindrical feel of the sleeves and neck area.

I also feel like the perspective is a little off on the figure -- the cylindrical cross-sections should indicate a consistent eye-level: they will be more or less flat at the eye level, and the curves should get deeper, further from the EL. In your image, they're too much the same, except at the sleeves, where they're the opposite.

Likewise, the features of the face don't curve with the head -- and the eyes are a bit too western/cartoony for Anime, which tends to go really heavy on the richness and detail of the characters' eyes.

[augustin]

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Not familiar with the character, if it's an established one, but feels like a cross between an FMA-type alchemist and a Naruto-type ninja?

Yeah it's pretty derivative; it's not from any particular anime.

My main feedback would be that you're possibly making the torso feel a bit too flat, with how the belt and the top part of the uniform sit across it, which contrasts starkly with the cylindrical feel of the sleeves and neck area.

I also feel like the perspective is a little off on the figure -- the cylindrical cross-sections should indicate a consistent eye-level: they will be more or less flat at the eye level, and the curves should get deeper, further from the EL. In your image, they're too much the same, except at the sleeves, where they're the opposite.

Likewise, the features of the face don't curve with the head -- and the eyes are a bit too western/cartoony for Anime, which tends to go really heavy on the richness and detail of the characters' eyes.

Thanks for this response.

Yeah this feedback makes sense but I sort of not sure about what I should do to fix it.
I think maybe I should have put a bit more thought into the construction of the 3D shapes from the start.

[shannon_winstone28]

Really fond of the costume design. In regards to any advice I say go for what the first comment mentioned. Other than that I would love to see this coloured in!

[liviuc]

Actually, I kindof thought I knew what I was talking about, but I had some trouble trying to give you better feedback as to what specifically you should change to improve it...

I mean, you can always be more consistent between the sleeves and the body, but when I put a 3D model in the same pose as your dude, and look at the contour lines on THAT body, in the same general perspective (exaggerating a bit for effect)... I get this:

The weird thing is... it kindof looks like even above the eye level, the contours on the model's shoulders still look like they're seen from-above... the line across the hips is more or less exactly the curve that you have... and the legs' contours don't seem to follow the perspective at all -- they're from above, then from below, then heck knows what else.

So, uh... I'm a bit stumped myself now. I thought this was a simple fix, and now I'm wondering what to do myself.

I guess this is worth asking Mark about, maybe?

[augustin]

Thanks for the response. It's really helpful and is making me think about 3D form a lot more carefully even for simple poses. I'll re-work this by the end of this week.

[augustin]

Really fond of the costume design. In regards to any advice I say go for what the first comment mentioned. Other than that I would love to see this coloured in!

Yeah I'll try and be brave enough to colour it