I'm not an expert, so all I will say is to be taken with a grain of salt. Overall I think it works. I get what is going on so that's pretty good!
The only thing that is bugging me a little is at the beginning. You have an establishing shot, then a closer shot of the first character and then you pull back away again. In my head, it feels to me like frame 2 and 3 should be inverted to make a smoother transition between the shots. However, maybe that once it's animated what you did would work perfectly.
Beyond that, as I said, I think it's good 
