1. So we've got a lot of stuff going on here with the light. We need to have a singular light source to the side, or in Rembrandt light if we are going to make a pleasing, or perhaps dramatic portrait.
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2. The second thing is that the light and dark sides are both warm, and extremely saturated and have many varied tones and hue variations. We need to get that down to 3 or 4 that you paint with tops. The edges of the light and dark and mixture happens while you paint. But you have to group your lights and dark's together to make a clear read. Make your shadow a bit duller in saturation to make it cooler to give it a more of a realistic touch.
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Stay tuned I'll post a paint over later to explain some things. This is in a style that I dont practice so I'm going to do some research.