Jan '19

hay
so i finaly finished the animation " the sick girl " and i just uploaded it,
its not the best short ever, and i am not that good at sound tracks
so her it is .

the sick girl

this are some scenes of the short,
it talks about a sick girl who is looking for a healing place,


everything was made in blender by the help of krita

the idea was inspired from a book of a german author "sigrid hunke" from her book
Allahs Sonne uberdem Abendland or "The Sun of Allah Shines over the West

for more
https://www.artstation.com/alfanas
alefanas0@gmail.com

alf #alf0 #BLENDER #B3D #2d #krita

ShiaModerator
Jan '19

Beautiful story and video! I didn't really understand the ending though.
There are also lots of grammar and spelling mistakes in the end of the video. :wink:

Jan '19

thank you so much !!!
your right, this is my first real focus proejct , so I expected some mistakes

the ending is that she lost hope and almost got near to death, but someone took her to a place wher helling is performed

and about the grammar and spelling, this is my weakens
ill try to focuse on that next time :joy:

ShiaModerator
Jan '19

Thank you for explaining! I s the person in the end a doctor? I dont recognise the costume. Maybe that confused me.

Jan '19

yeah she is !!! actuallly i tryd mixing betwieen arabic culture and modren doctors costume, and this was the result !!!

Jan '19

I liked the costume choice of the doctor at the end, simple but interesting and engaging. To be honest I was hoping for just one more scene showing a bit more of where she wound up in the end.

The story is sad, but of course that is fine.

And I rather liked the music you used, the tonal shifts and scene changes were good, and you got her feet in rhythm. I would suggest adding a shift in the music at the church and at the doctors as well.

You need to work on making your camera cuts a bit more smooth, there were many times when the characters would stop moving about a fraction of a second before the camera would change, it makes it feel very bumpy.

And as you mentioned, avoiding spelling and grammar errors is very important, but as long as you work on it you will be fine.

But I want you to know that you had a good, simple story that drew me in and made me want to watch the animation and see what was going to happen, that is a huge success in itself, especially because I am pretty damn picky about stories. Keep at it!

Jan '19

thank you so much for your kind word and the critiques it means and helps alot
your right, that i really needed , or should add one more scene to show wher did she ended up , guess i have to work on that next time !!!

the music was made by FL studio, i am not that god at music, i had a tone and i went for it !

i am working on a nother project now , and ill keep all of this in mind ^_^

1 month later

Mar '19

Nice one and the work is well done. Some things happening in the plot that are a bit difficult to understand but it's a nice gesture here, keep going! ^^