Hi, there. Sorry for going MIA for so long [it's really, not that long.. but I had just started here, so in %s...], I have a serious question in case anyone can help me with it.
I had a few awful months here and lost the track I was in for this course, then I finally at least felt well enough to try drawing but I had a project to finish and poured all my energy there. I did finish it in January, and I was very proud for it!, but decided to use February to rest from art too. Now it's bakto'scool time and I want to resume this course too. I feel super awful with myself and feel I betrayed other people here even if just a couple even knew about me doing this.
My question is: any of you have any advise of how to face the course? Should I start all from 0 like never started, warm up with the exercises I made until now, take from where I left?
I know it's a personal thing, but I struggle too much with personal decisions, I wish to see if someone has ideas, having or not passed by the same. In case it helps someone to poke me, my idiot brain is like this:
- I struggle with inspiration and motivation, I usually do better when working for someone's request.
- When I get inspired I can work lots-- a day or two moody, sick or forced to make another thing and I will completely forget what I was doing and even less remember I was motivated to work [in general, not just art]
- I try to get track of what I do, lists, Habitica, a dairy sometimes - I forget about them too even if I like them.
- I do get bored repeating the same things, and that scares me to start from 0.. but I want the order of it too.
- I know we use references for a data library and create new things, but I feel I have 0 creativity unless prompted [hopefully, a whole book of descriptions for it] --/then/ I can use the references. [ex. some challenges don't work for me cos to broad.. like.. "cats"? sure, what about cats, which cat, what feeling for them???]
- My better time drawing was when I had a daily doodle made without much care for anything [very difficult!] in a tiny paper, by around 10 minutes [I tried to make it twice, to not forget, like duolingo really xD]. It was themed as happy domestic life of a couple and dog, and living with my partner then helped to fill the idea gaps. I stopped because someone kept me asking for months to improve my paper, even after telling them I was using it to not feel pressure... I just broke down at some moment.
I really hope someone can check this and poke me, I'm very ashamed I'm not that good in moving by my own, I know I'm very ...outsiders pressuring me motivated.. sorry.
I hope everyone there a good day anyway. Be goodwell!
-Baph