Just wow man I totally know what you mean. To keep things short, this was a great read an reminder to stay focused. Don't be sorry at all. Best of luck to you and your future. I remember a similar artist from the old cb forums and now he does illustrations for blizzard heartstone. His portfolio is here. Just like in this latest studies, your doing really well. Looking back at that original piece you did a while back, I know your own the right path.
For this piece I like the colors you chose. You've really gotten better at making sure the legs aren't as dark. From something you did by not looking at reference, this is a really good job. I think you could've improved on the most was push the proportions of the face like it is in the reference. Try to take notice of the basic shapes as well as the relationships of straights and curves in the design. I also notice you added in subtle highlights which is good. Some areas were missed but it's fine. Your colors seems to always be more saturated than the studies but thats what I personally like about your pieces. Ryan color choices seem to be between saturated and de-saturated but definitely more saturated. This are things I'm noticing and learning and I wasn't the one who did the study. Again keep up the amazing work.
Lastly if you don't mind can you give me some feedback on my latest 2 pieces? Would love to hear your input.