Heyo! You know this is my favorite topic xD.
Awesome work, It was really fun to see and read!
I'd like to give some feedback, but I don't want to just get carried away(I realize if I just go ham it could get quite wordy and overbearing, and I do think it's important to let the artist cook), so just a few points that jump to mind:
1) I'm not as familiar with the charactrs, so while it was clear what Eve was doing in pg1 and 2, I started to get lost in the flows with pages 3 and onwards. Looking back, I missed your note that Rai's hair was black, and didn't realize Cal was a separate character at first (I thought it was Eve holding the cat... somehow, and got really confused). Upon a few quick rereads it all made sense. I think it would be good to add a few more characteristics to make it clear on who is who, maybe also some bubbles with tails to take them into account in the composition and dialogue flow.
2) Not sure what "8th" is...?
3) I like the tempo and flow, some pages could probably be compressed, but I personally tend to compress too much at times. Still, I think you could probably cut the number of pages by rearranging things slightly (which means less work for you). Pages 3 and 4 for example could probably be summed up in a single page, as well as 7 and 8. It's easier to see it as a reader, but for example, you can keep the full body shots in 7 and still add the following frames by putting the characters as cutouts over frames to save space.
Overall, and more importantly, it looks like a fun read ![:smile: :smile:](https://d1f4appuj81sj4.cloudfront.net//images/emoji/emoji_one/smile.png?v=0)
YES! making dialogue that fits in panels is so much harder than it seems. Probably one of the points I still struggle with the most.
There's a LOT of information out there about dialogues and paneling, but this recent video might help you elaborate more on the draft. It's especially useful when analyzing the flow line.
As a final point, I would still recommend posting on going work in the discord forum manga. I realize it can be intimidating, but we're not that many there active at a time, and you might get some good feedback as well. People are usually very supportive about the work you're doing.
Of course you're not obligated to do so, so no worries if you want to keep it at the forums.
Either way looking forward to seeing more!