Hi, Cubebrush. I buy pose packs from here and was pleasantly surprised to see the fourm had an active sketchbook section, or ‘Art blogs’ as you call it here. I’m no stranger to sketchbook threads and actually much prefer it, to something like Discord when you can feel it’s spamming other people or another ‘mega’ website, where your work gets tossed in the wind. I previously shared my artistic journey on ConceptArt.org before it closed down. I discovered CA in my early teens, but hesitated to post due to my insecurities about the quality of my work. Eventually, I began sharing my art, but by then, CA was on its last legs. The close-knit community and support I found there are hard to replicate elsewhere, I also have a Crimson Dagger thread. As much as I love it, it does feel like a ghost town that people occasionally pass through and there’s no rule that you can’t post threads on different platforms, thus here I am. To summarise my intro post and where I’m at now regarding art.
It wasn't really a lack of motivation that stopped me, it was a fear of doing something wrong. I was reluctant of doing studies, and getting lost in the moment in case I remembered too much when pursuing my own work. I would psych myself out that much I just didn't enjoy drawing. This developed into analysis paralysis. It's years later I discover the majority, if not all of the artists I admired copied during their formative years.
I was scared of following my influences, because I thought to myself 'Is this really mine?' And, getting into philosophical questions over ownership. Artists steal from anything and everything and this congeals into their style. I was so worried about being 'original', I wasn't being authentic to myself.
Hearing Dan Rapoza emphasize that "even if you copy other artists, it will still be you at the end of the day" was a revelation. I realized that being overly concerned about originality prevented me from being true to myself. Artists draw from various influences, and this amalgamation contributes to their unique styles. I'm now embracing the idea of learning from my "Art Parents" and using references without guilt.
I've come to understand that drawing from imagination is essentially drawing just from memory. Building a visual library is crucial, and studying life and references is part of this process. The I discovered "The Helsinki Bus Station Theory" it really struck a chord with me, but also makes me sad thinking of lost time and experimentation. You may take the same few stops like your favs, but eventually you will diverge. Just say on the damn bus. If I could grab my 13 year old self, I’d shake her, but alas…
While I still grapple with fear, I'm actively using references and focusing on drawing for pleasure again. I’m still in the process of letting go of ‘being perfect’, and just when I feel like I’m in a clearing, I hit another roadblock. I still had the urge to create, but feel jaded by these experiences. Right now, I am just trying to create a ‘mindful’ art practice focused on gratifying my interests and natural inclinations. The idea of trying to monetize my creative output into a career is still wanted and alluring, but has also been the source of decades of stress. I am focusing now on not just ‘drilling anatomy studies’, but instead creating finished pieces that reflect my interests, even if they're not at the level I aspire to yet. I need to remember my ‘Why?’
I plan to share a mix of master copies, studies, and imaginative work in this sketchbook thread. I'll start with some of my latest, rather than making a curation of all my older artistic works. I definitely want to push my digital painting knowledge, but have taken time to go back to trad work. I'm really interested in using this as a space to improve and get feedback on longer pieces of work.
Sketches of one of my fav Nu-Jazz singers Clara Hill
Watch these Deadly Hands!
Horror concept, deffo wanna develop this.
Japanese schoolgirl laying on bed with accompanying comicbook. I have redrawn and coloured her with coloured pencils. I am pleased with it, but feel it lost her eye gaze looking up, it now looks like she's looking at the audience.
